Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but the man who loves you more.


The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance far enough to allow the person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. To let go of someone doesnt mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness scare away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may find peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return.

But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today. There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself.

Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.


No matter how hard you try to get over someone, you'll always end up still having some sort of feeling left for them. Reminiscing the way things were and how everything is now. At times, you will hope that the new person in their life was still you and everything was still the way it used to be... despite all the bad things that have happened. Everybody thinks that time is supposed to make things better, but in love, it doesn't. Although you guys have been apart for a while even if you guys don't talk much anymore and now have different loves in your life, you still can't help but wonder if you're still remembered or thought of. And sometimes, you hope to know how their life is now, how things would've been if you two were still together, and when you catch them glancing at you, you wonder if their heart beats a little faster as yours does when you see them.


After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security. You begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and after a while, you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. You learn that you really can endure that you really are strong, and that you really do have worth.


As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, and no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all; live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.





This morning, my sis left to Bali for 3 days with her "kids", and I stay in Surabaya with my maid. My feeling? I don't know. Mixed of want to go too but want to stay in Surabaya too >.<.

And last weekend, on October 10th,2010, my bff Susan did propose by her bf, so I came down to Malang to help her party. I was so happy that I could see my beloved niece and nephew - adore them! both are so cute! -. I'm happy that my parents also in good condition.

My love life? that I'm worried~. As per previous post, I'm still worry till now. I don't know why, but it looks like that we are so close.From morning till night before sleep, we mostly on contact.If this guarantee to continue till bf/gf relationship,I don't mind. But if not, then I really don't know. Everyday I pray that let Him calm my heart and if he's really the one for me, He will make a way so that we can meet in real life.





I didn't realize that yesterday's post was my first post in 2010 in this blog. So many things happened lately. My dad was sick end of last year till now ( but getting better,don't worry). Life's changing and whether we're ready or not,we should face it.
Anyway, I still in my fandom of k-pop, still love Seal Online, and pretty much doing same thing for almost past 4 years.
What I feel now is emptiness and loneliness. I don't know why only I realize it now, too late perhaps? I should feel it years ago. Perhaps I loved being alone, happy and don't care about that. But now, I want to step it on another way. As I said to my friend last nite, I wanted to get involved in relationship,but at the end,I'm the one who don't want to continue it, either gave 1001 reasons to reject or simply don't care, which I feel so guilty about that too. I feel guilty to Chris, I feel guilty to myself too. Ah, simply don't care also can't solve the problem.
So yeah, basically, now I feel I'm in the middle of road with hopeless to choose which one the way should I choose.
One of my friend said, at the end, perhaps what you can do is simply give up and let it as it is.
Something also bothers me lately too. I feel mood swing,less sleep(well,suddenly woke up in the middle of night which was rarely happen to me),woke up way early in the morning. Basically, I don't know what is this feeling. I've checked with my family and close friends and I'm sure they're not like this. I know that someone who has this habit but I don't know who is that, just feel it. Weird,huh.
Sometimes, I only want piece of free mind with serenity and relax, but life is not like that.
Have fun! Cheer up!!